


Where Are You Now That I Need You?

by septiplierhink



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Dan cuts but Phil still loves him, First Kiss, M/M, Self-Harm, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 10:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5245586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/septiplierhink/pseuds/septiplierhink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dan is feeling down, Phil was always there. But where is he now when Dan needs him?</p><p>Inspired by the Pentatonix cover of "Where Are Ü Now"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Are You Now That I Need You?

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys!  
> I couldn't get the Pentatonix cover of "Where Are Ü Now" out of my head so i thought I'd write a short fic about it.  
> Please Enjoy :)

The day started off like any other. Dan hated his classes in the morning (classes without Phil) but now it was lunch and all Dan wanted was to be with his friends for this one hour of fun. Pj, Chris, Cat, Louise, Dan and of course Phil all crossed the street and arrived at the grassy fields of the park close to their school. Everyone was talking and laughing as the group crossed the street, except Dan. I guess that part about the 'hour of fun' didn't apply to him. As the group sat down in a circle on the cold ground to gossip some more, Dan decided he needed to be alone. He slowly walked off down the road to a small forested area by the east side of the park. 

Pj ran after Dan and grabbed his wrist before Dan could get very far. Dan stopped suddenly, he didn't expect Pj behind him. He wiped his eyes before turning around.  
"Peej, what is it??" Dan exclaimed, trying not to draw attention to himself.  
"I was following you because you seemed sad" Pj explained rather hesitantly  
"Im fine, I really am" Dan said while he tried to run from Pj's grasp  
"If you say so" Pj said as he ran to a bench in the distance.

Dan kept walking towards the cluster of trees, he sat down at the roots of an oak tree. It must have been a hundred years old. Now that Dan was alone, he let himself go. Tears streaming down his face faster than he could wipe them away. Dan wanted to cut so badly. He looked around for a sharp rock or piece of glass. He didn't see anything. Then he realized that he was holding a soda can - the aluminium kind. Dan quickly finished the drink off before stepping on the can, collapsing it beneath his vans clad foot. Now that the can was flat, Dan ripped it in half, exposing the razor sharp metal edges. If he was going to cut he needed to do it fast. Dan looked around for Phil, of course this was about Phil. Dan scanned the grassy horizon looking for his best friend. Then Dan's eyes latched onto the boy's slim figure. Dan compared his relationship with Phil to a song that both of them liked. It was a love song, a sad one. Dan started to mumble the words out load as he heard the tune in his head

_I gave you the key when the door wasn't open, just admit it_  
_See, I gave you faith, turned your doubt into hoping, can’t deny it_  
_Now I’m all alone and my joys turned to moping_  
_Tell me, where are you now that I need you?_

Phil was such a kind person, he was talking to Pj, who was still on the bench that he had ran off to only minutes before. It was because of Phil that Dan would have to start cutting now if he was going to. In a couple minutes Phil would notice that Dan was gone, then look for him. But as Dan started to cut small knicks into his forearm - (so that they wouldn't be visible from far away), he started to hear Phil behind him, humming to the same song that was stuck in Dan's head.

_Where are you now?_  
_Where are you now that I need you?_  
_Couldn't find you anywhere_  
When you broke down I didn't leave you  
_I was by your side_  
_So where are you now that I need you?_  
_Where are you now?_

Dan quickly put the can away and shoved into the tall grass all around them.  
"Hey, Pj said you might be here, he said you looked sad" Phil said as he sat down beside the brunet  
"Well, im fine" Dan said as he turned the bloody side of his arm away from Phil.  
"Dan, I know that tone, you always talk like this when you cut" Phil explained while he reached for Dan's arm.  
"No really, im fine" Dan pulled his arm back before Phil could see his cuts.  
"Okay, well you know I wouldn't want anything to happen to you" Phil said while he stood up to give Dan some space. Maybe Phil trusted Dan too much.

Dan kept making small cuts on his arm. They started to sting, the soda can was un-sanitized so Dan would probably end up with a nasty infection later. Tears starting to stream down his face again. He didn't really know why. It was probably for many reasons, because he was hurting physically, emotionally, mentally ect. But maybe it was because he had just turned Phil away. Dan really didn't want Phil to have left. All he really wanted was for Phil to hold him and wipe his tears away, to tell him that it was alright and never let him go. All month Dan had really serious urges to just kiss Phil. Or to tell the shorter boy how he felt, but as each day passed, the urges would die down but then become really strong. As much as Dan didn't want to admit it, it was probably teenage hormones. 

Dan through the soda can away, it only landed a couple inches from his bookbag. Now Dan was really regretting pushing Phil away. He turned around to see if Phil had join the group again or if he was still talking to Pj. He wasn't. Dan couldn't see him anywhere.  
'Dammit Phil, where are you now that I need you?' Dan thought as the same lyrics popped back into his head.

_Where are you now that I need you?_  
_I need you (the) I need you_  
_I need you (the) I need you_  
_I need you the most_  
_So where you know that I need you?_

Just then, Dan started crying again for the third time. Now it was uncontrollable. Even if he wanted to (or needed to) he couldn't stop. It was at that moment that Dan felt a touch on his shoulder. It was Phil.

"Dan. oh my gosh" Phil said softly as he slid down the tree to position himself next to Dan. Phil reached around Dan and held him close to his own body. The brunet couldn't stop the undeniable tears.  
"Shhh, it's gonna be okay" Phil said, trying to reassure Dan. But Dan wouldn't respond  
"What's this" Phil asked in an even kinder voice as he picked up a bloody soda can.  
"Sweetheart, let me see your arm." The pet name wasn't necessary, it not like they were dating (yet), but it helped Dan become more relaxed and comfortable. Dan showed Phil his left arm (the one he wasn't cutting).  
"No bear, the other one" Phil said as he started to wipe Dan's tears from his face. Dan gave in and showed Phil his other arm. It was laced with cuts and small gashes all down his pale skin. There wasn't much blood dripping from it, but it was enough to make Phil tear up at the sight of Dan's pain. Phil grabbed a small towel out of his pocket, he always had it on him in case Dan started cutting again. The raven started to wipe the blood off of Dan's cuts. He used his free hand to tip Dan's face up to meet his gaze. Dan became lost in Phil's baby blue eyes. They really did look beautiful in the afternoon sun. Just when Dan thought he could make it through the day without admitting to his crush, he felt overwhelmed and removed his arm from Phil's grasp so he could place one hand on either side of Phil's face. The brunet slowly closed the gap between their lips.

Their kiss was slow and passionate. Not heated and lustful (they had time for that later). Phil immediately started kissing back at the same calm pace Dan was. The kiss lasted for a while, longer than they had both experienced before. Both of the boys moved their bodies occasionally and changed the direction of their heads to deepen the kiss. To say Dan was surprised, would be an understatement. Was Phil really kissing him back? Were they dating now? Dan would have to pull away to clear things up with Phil, so he did - they needed air anyway. 

As Dan pulled away he repositioned a piece of Phil's dark hair that had been moved in the kiss.  
"That was nice" Dan stated the obvious as he looked shyly away.  
"Sorry, I couldn't resist" Phil said, trying to help Dan regain confidence.  
"So was that like... a one time thing?" Dan asked, hoping for a no.  
"Only if you want it to be" Phil replied, he felt like his heart was going to explode from it's quickened pace  
"Oh, I don't. Do you want to... you know...date?" Dan asked when Phil pulled him up so that they could walk back to school.  
"Yes Dan, I would love that" Phil said as he planted a kiss on Dan's forehead.  
"On one condition" Phil continued  
"What's would that condition be?" Dan asked, baffled by Phil's idea  
"You never, ever cut again" Phil responded, holding Dan's hand in his own.  
"Deal" Dan said with a short, sweet smile. There was a silence as Dan and his new boyfriend walked across the field, attracting some odd looks from other students.  
"Hey so, you know that song you were humming earlier?" Dan asked  
"Yeah, it's called-" Phil said, but he was cut off by Dan finishing his sentence  
"Where are you now that I need you" Dan finished, then he continued  
"Anyway, I really like it"  
"Aww, I do too" Phil exclaimed. What followed was another kiss. Similar to the last.

After, the two boys passed the trees and the flowers and the bushes as they walked back to school hand in hand. Both singing the last verse together. <3

_I gave you attention when nobody else was paying ohh_  
_I gave you the shirt off my back, what you saying?_  
_To keep you warm_  
_I showed you the game everybody else was playing, that's for sure_  
_And I was on my knees when nobody else was praying, oh Lord_  
_So where are you now that I need you?_  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you liked it, please let me know by leaving a comment or kudos. Thx <3


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